A vivid CNC/fearplay scene takes places between two lovers in a trusting and established dynamic. CW: Past trauma of the speaker is very subtly implied, with the context being that CNC and fearplay are powerful to her because she can examine her own conflicted feelings in a safe way. The intention is not to imply that she is damaged and compelled to re-enact her trauma. Sexual trauma is, unfortunately, extremely common. Some of us are also kinky. When the two intersect in some way, it can be meaningful, or it can be coincidental. We're all allowed to pursue our own (consensual) sexual pleasure without having to explain it or fit someone else's idea of how victimhood should be performed.