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If you keep cockblocking me, I'll just use you to get off while you're passed out

Summary: Once again, I (the speaker) have to drag your drunk ass home after a party, ruining my chances of getting laid for the evening. I'm so sick and tired of looking after you and having to spend the night alone after you pass out. Watching you sleep though... you kinda look a bit like a girl from this angle. It'd be fine if I just jerked off like this, right? Yeah. Not like you'd even know...

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