Summary: He's crass. He's stupid. He's full of himself. Your boyfriend of one week isn't exactly a great catch. But he's tired of "taking things slow", and wants to have sex. You really shouldn't. He's the sort of guy to lie about his dick size and say condoms don't fit him. He thinks pregnancy can't happen at night. If you asked him what the vulva was, he'd tell you he "ain't some nerd that plays Pokemon". But surely it won't be that bad an experience, right? Oh, don't kid yourself. It'll be terrible. But hey, at the very least it'll be over very quickly.